Tag Archives: The Host film review

The Host (2013)

The time has arrived.

Yep, that’s a Diet Coke cap. I fell asleep while watching it and missed about half an hour, woke up and what I saw then was so f–king ridiculous that I didn’t bother to go back where I’d dozed off at. The crazy part? I literally didn’t miss anything. I had no problems with watching on.

The concept is suprisingly unique, but the story is so lame that it doesn’t give anything The characters are bland and the events are stupid. I have no respect for it. The actors try to do something, but they’re uninspired and the visual effects, which are beautiful, are a waste on The Host.

I know this face. I wore this face for the 95 minutes I spent watching this film.

The quotes were cheesy, the final sentence was lame, but the ending credits were actually pretty awesome, with beautiful images of galaxy, Radioactive blasting loud and a gorgeous typeface. That’s the problem with this film: for every good thing, there are five awful ones. I wanted to know the story without having to read another book of Meyer’s, because I really have a problem with her bland style of writing. And I was intrigued: would they turn a book she wrote into a good film? And I got my answer: no, and that’s where I’ll leave that, and I’ll say that I enjoyed the Twilight films more — they were (often unintentionally) hilarious and eh, I had someone to show my displeasure to because I had a buddy with whom we watched all these movies.

But what bothered me most about this pile of steaming crap? The idea was a lot better than the execution — the screenplay. The visuals were much better than The Host deserved. Diane Kruger’s crying belonged into a better f–king film. If you haven’t seen it, great. Don’t watch it. The stupidity might piss you off.